The Mind of a space monkey

There was a time when I believed,
I believed that it could be,
I only wanted to be.
Now my desire is to end,
But with honour and I tend,
I tend to think about the time that has passed me by,
Tempted to turn around and say goodbye.
My spirits have changed,
Much wiser in the end,
I want them to shatter into pieces,
Because they created all the leashes.
I want all this to fade,
Into ashes and then aid.
I want to redeem for my mistakes,
Then just turn and start again,
Be what I once used to be,
Something which feels and cares,
and wants to be.