The Mind of a space monkey

When I first saw her,
I didn’t know what it was that I thought,
I mere sensed that she was it,
The thing that would make my life so bitter-sweet.
Like a light in the dark her presence shone,
Her smile so gentle and full of pride,
As if this world was something to conquer or to gain,
Although she had so much to blame,
It made her truly sick,
Poisoned by sorrow and pain,
Her world was one in which no one reigned.
She would rest for hours and fall asleep,
Against my chest, as I layed awake,
Breathing gently, breathing deep.
And as I had left my world behind,
The lie which was not reality,
In vain I tried to be still living,
For my sentece long ago had risen.
I was there just to pass by,
To give my best,
At least to try.
Oh, I tried to keep it up,
I hoped for good would happen,
And so it did,
But for what sacrafice?
She had forgotten and denied,
What I was and that I tried.
I heard her suffer and heard her blame,
That once into her life I came.
Bitter-sweet I think now back,
For I felt fullfilled,
I don’t regret.
My goal was not to hurt but just to stand,
I could just not endure it in the end.
But for some time,
I had been a friend,

And oh god knows I still would be,

Were I granted a chance one more time to spend,

A little while next to her,

Talking about everything and nothing,

It would never end.