Happy Lies

Eat your acid, take a breath,

Smoke that shit and take the crack!

Fill your lungs with gasoline,

This is it, you’re now ready,

You contract, react, so erect,

Give yourself just one more load,

So you can take it all night long,

The bass is roaring, the tom drum rocks,

You are floating, you are fucked!

Your pulse is screaming, your ears collapse,

Your brain stops functioning, you disconnect.

Step one you take the first single pill,

Step two is the one which makes you feel,

The third one makes you take some more,

On the fourth one you are already sore,

From now on you need it twenty-four,

By this time you’re already dead,

Take the pill, go ahead!

Zero Kills

Ticking clocks and spending time,

On building blocks of scheduled life,

And by the age of twenty one,

We loose the sense of our own mind,

Responsible and precautious craving,

Pills and money, making babies,

Righteous living, saying “maybe”,

Churches, presidents, take the lead!

I need a happy life to live.

*

Take me home and bring me T.V.,

One thousand channels, I am pleased,

Deliver me sanity! Give me idols and belief,

I need that car in order to be relieved.

I need to see that shirt on me!

Give me porn and alcohol,

It will enlighten my entire soul.

Now the new disease is killing me,

Hope will come with the insurance policy.

*

Thank you god that I have this life,

Don’t have to lead an unhappy life,

Poor and homeless, not in the jungle,

Wild animals and hunting, that’s not my style.

I need my smoothie and my diet coke,

I know, this way, that I do exist,

Me, I believe in medi[idiocy!]ocrity.

No fear

As I lied down and stared at the sealing,
I figured I had this strangest of feelings,

It was of how very different you are,

The manner you do things,

Your thoughts and your heart.

You give me strength and I can’t resist,

Your beauty, your words, your sweetest kiss,

And therefore I’m greatful and it’s hard to believe,

That finally now this greatest gift,

Through you, my love, I have recieved.

And awake at this hour this I do write,

Because I’m thinking of you,

I love you,

Ruxandra,

Thank you,

For life.

( Many thanks again to the lovely Ruxandra Popescu, creator and photographer of the sculpture. Thank you, darling. I love you. )

Opened eyes

Moonlight, dark haze, shining light,

How come you are tonight so bright?

Are you there to mesmerize the nightly creatures,

Moths and spirits, wolves and demons?

Will you come lift up the souls,

Which haunt old mansions, graves and bones?

You are the friend I want to reach,

Every night, when I fall asleep.

Now and then I feel much closer,

To your silence, wisdom, endless power,

Although I know, even by this hour,

That you are dust, a simple thing,

Speechless, dead, a soulless being,

And still you’re god to me, endless meaning.

( Painting by Ruxandra Popescu, I love you )

Could you accept...?

The hours pass,

You linger, you last,

The snow has taken the time,

The horrible dust.

What is it you wish for?

What do you want?
Is it fulfillment,

Is it my joy?

Doomned creature!

Is it my soul?

*

„Decay, lust,

Love, dust,

Matter, spirit,

Brain and soul,

Do you believe,

That you fulfilled your goal?

Are you worth any more time?

This very precious gift of mine?

Go! Now! Live your life!

But do you know how to?

Will you be miserable,

Or finally live your life?!

Why couldn’t you now…

Just die?“

( Painting by Ruxandra Popescu, I love you )

Road to...

Here we stand, in Paris,

Aegypt and old forgotten lands,

Dancing by the light,

Which the moon us does grant.

Leaping and laughing and grabbing the stars,

We need nothing but each other and a thought,

Somewhere to start.

*

A cold winter night,

Your coat, dark red by the streetlamp’s light,

The smell of cinnamon and wine in the air,

It comes from a warm place, they even have chairs,

And as we step in, it is a bar,

An old man in the corner is lighting his cigar,

There are some seats of heavy brown leather,

He waves us to sit there and rest from the weather.

*

And so, not any different,

There may be more places,

Even in worlds still unknown.

All we need to do,

Is believe and just know.

Time doesn’t matter,

It is not essencial,

It is friendship and love.

A moment,

Above.

( Many thanks again to the lovely Ruxandra Popescu, creator of the painting, thank you darling, I love you. )

Lit

And by the roots it ripped and took them out,

It was enough, It had no doubt,

All the answers were so close,

For nothing would stop it’s craving for what,

It had found, now,

At last.

The light, so far, so close, so warm and sudden,

Was it blinding? Was it pleasent?

Might it be from god a present?

It doesn’t matter, it is new.

It is now granted,

It is truth.

„Here I am, roaming amongst!“

With a rattling sound it cried.

The earth quaked and heavens lit,

And all around awakened quick.

And since then,

Just until now,

It is still walking,

Roaming around.

( Painting by Ruxandra Popescu, I love you, darling. )

Thank you

All of these years,

It was such a long way,

It changed me forever,

But now I can say,

I do not regret it,

I am not ashamed,

My blessing much greater,

Than all of the pain.

For moments like these,

When you laugh, when you smile,

I do know that it’s all been truly worthwhile.

When I see the pure passion,

The glare in your eyes,

That is the moment when I feel alive.

Thank you forever,

You dearest friend.

( Painting by Ruxandra Popescu, thank you darling, I love you )

Accord de minuit

Good night it is for now, my friend

For we're going to wake up in a different land.

One in which there might be no end,

Where all creatures, little and grand,

Do find their shelter in our loam and sand,

~

Good night for now, we shall meet again.

For only after parting we can merge,

Into the world of our thoughts to focus and urge,

To know what it is which gives us all life and delight.

When we wake up, it will be bright.

~

Hello darling.

You, by this very blue sea,

Will you be standing next to me?

Now that we both,

With our minds do see?

( Painting by Ruxandra Popescu, thank you darling, I love you )

02 - The nameless and anonymous - Birth

~

And thus it happened,

Jack was born,

A former spirit,

Cast and torn.

Jack (thoughts):

„Lord! What gives?
Where am I now?

What is this feeling?

I am so… plump.

And this noise,

Where does it come from?

Is that me?

What is this place?

Why can’t I see?

Oh and this…

Drfting, fading,

So quick, so gentle…“

~

… Sleep has cought him,

Time will pass,

The roots’ve been cut off,

Now to start,

This wondrous journey,

Of mind and heart.

( And again, many thanks to Ruxandra Popescu, creator of the painting, I love you! )

01 - The nameless and anonymous - Creator

Welcome to this land of mine,

Here where I am Lord to thy,

Where you will see thoughts so light and dark,

And pure passion’s pumping heart,

Will you be ready to dive in?

To play this game of beauty’s kin?

Where the horrid is behind each corner,

Where you’ll feel pain and pleasure,

Both exceedingly, pure in essence.

You will choose the path to walk,

But remember this,
Nothing matters more than love.

Now my child,

Be sent down with,

This most precious of all gifts.

( Special thanks to Ruxandra Popescu, creator of the painting, I love you. )

Happy Halloween

And it has been lost until this day,
In which everything doomed to decay,
Can grant a wish and sing it up,
To once more spin the wheel of time,
For a darker pass of time.
When the trees seem to loose their lively vibe,
And the animals mainly retreat from life,
When women, men, children, gather inside the warmth of their house,
For it is the time when outside it’s restless,
Filled with all the years’ sadness,
And all the dead seem to be grieved,
In the mysterious songs of the sharp, cold wind.
And only demons now do walk the streets,
Reminding us how very sweet,
This life we all enjoy to live,
Truly is in this world in which we reside,
To make us notice that there is,
A pass of time,
Just as we drink, sit, eat, walk and sleep,
One day we all will lie beneath.

Now, not later. Life is short. You should know better!

Mr. Sorrowcage was a foolish man,
Scared of witches, ghouls, black-cats, what a shame!
He believed it all, he was afraid,
And thus he chose that all his life,
He’d stay behind the door of his lonesome house.
A long, long time he had lived that way,
When he’d realized that he had turned old and grey.
He has never had a child or wife,
He had lived alone,
A pleasureless life.
He did not know of the world outside,
It seemed strange and contradictory,
He didn’t know what it meant.
But he inside,
Beyond the window,
Was dark and sorrow,
With himself and the day of tomorrow.
The day that he felt that his time had come,
He had found the strength to leave his house,
And whilst he was walking,
Discovering the world in only one day,
He had felt it all,
Pleasures and pains,
He had used his limbs and his voice,
Even screamed,
He wasn’t ashamed.
Enjoying it to the fullest and then,
In the same evening he passed away,
With a broad and radiating smile on his face,
Because he had fought his demons and won,
A feeling of love towards the godgiven sun.

( Painting by Ruxandra Popescu, I love you, thank you. )

For Ioana

All of this,
I wrote because I believe,
That on the 25th of October 1991,
It was not a day of grief,
For you have been born,
An extraordinary friend!
Whom I know I can trust and take by the hand,
Even in the days,
When everyone else seems to go away in the end.
Truth I see in you,
Everyone should be a bit more like you!
With principles, honesty, pride and all it takes,
It would make this world a better place.
Even when you’ve been brought down to your knees,
You chose to hold on and stand,
To fight for your beliefs until the end,
Although at times it felt like self sacrifice,
You kept going not looking back.
But you should know that you’re not alone,
In this life and through it’s tests,
For I’d do everything it takes,
To support you,
In any of these days.
Thank you,
For being like that,
A source of light,

A real and true friend.
Ioana, you indeed are,
From heaven sent.

Happy birthday.

Death for life

As she went into the coffeeshop,
With scents from far off lands,
She thought of how so long ago,
She’d met a passionate man.
He loved the life with all it’s facettes,
And always laughed not little,
When he took her hand in his,
It made her weep a little.
It was his manner of wanting to know everything,
And share all of his thoughts,
That made her feel so drunk of love,
It felt all so strange and fulfilling.
But oh so soon he passed away,
Disease had cought him quickly,
Leaving behind a widdow now,
Who’d weep so many winters long,
Drenched with love forever,
For this one single mind of his,
Which gave away a gift so precious,
It was her duty to continue.
She smiled and laughed, was colourfull,
Enjoying every moment as if it’d be the last to live,
For this bitter love she felt,
This gift and curse in all it’s meanings.
It made her curious and thoughtful,
Had God himself been so evil?
Did it take this sacrifice,
To make her live in freedom?

( Special thanks to Ruxandra Popescu, creator and photographer of the sculpture )

Love?

For you, my saviour which has done nothing but take,
Why do you tempt me to hate?
Where is your kingdom and how do you love?
When every path I need to walk,
Is so narrow, so dark?
Why do you give me bitterness and rage,
When all I want is shelter, love… but all in vain.
The only thing I can hope now is that there is truth behind my faith.
For I want to believe,
That there is a purpose,
For all of this pain.

Is life just a game?

Present

In my psychedelic trip to the sun,
I have seen all the faces that once had been mine,
I have been to the places which I’ve left behind,
I have thought all the thoughts that once had been in my mind,
I have found all the hope which I scattered in time,
I have dreamt all the dreams which have travelled the nights,
I have found my true friends and the loved ones,
In my psychedelic trip to the sun,
Everything had been just perfectly fine,
Then I woke up and realized,
It is not that perfect,
Not all has an end,
Those are mere dreams,
But in the end,
The world is mine,
And in joy I will find,
The peace and the love,
That I so desperately crave,
In this one single life of mine.

2000 Views

As they are and as they went,
They have spent some time right here,
Just to dive into a land,
Of which no one truly knows,
Wether someone really cares,
But for a moment,
Not too long,
A feeling was somewhere there.
I love you all and as I speak,
I wish the best to you,
For my inspiration lives,
And it comes from you.

Jealousy

As he sits there clutching in his fingers grip,
The bird which sings a song so sweet,
It would make even the angels weep,
A grimmace of anger darkens his face,
Why can’t he just fly away?
Scarred and old and ugly, but no!
This isn’t his soul! It’s not what he is meant to be,
He is meant to fly and sing, be praised!
Not grief. In a shell which resembles of a filthy thief,
But oh, what gives,
The bird all crushed,
It’s limbs so still.
He had taken it’s life,
It had been his will.

( Painting by Ruxandra Popescu, many thanks again for this. I owe you big time! )

Fallen

With your feathers spread,
Faithfully looking through the night,
You cut through the winds,
Like a pool of light,
Leaving behind a trail so bright,
It drives the ghouls and demons wild,
With knowledge and divine grace,
You burden yourself without shame,
Being aware of a bitter end,
You keep on flying,
Even higher with more speed,
Because you know that it might be,
For the better of another mind,
One that lost it’s faith in life,
You give those a part of you,
But you know that you can’t stay,
It’s not your world, you go away,
And in time,
You are forgotten, just a shade,
Which left behind,
A better life,
For a sorrow mind.

Wollahs

A martyr in sorrow,
Loathing tomorrow,
Loathing the vain,
Was this all for which he came?
Vividly the faces linger,
Of devils and demons keeping him tight,
Hanging on to his pittyfull life.
Although every single day,
The obsession had been the same.
He’d watch and stare,
People which passed,
With this horrible glare,
Because to him,
Empty they were.

Unknown passion

This mysterious night,
Whilst the moon was shining ever so bright,
And the wind was singing it’s soothing lost song,
Which forever is doomed to go on and on,
Carrying the voices of spirits much higher,
I was thinking of you,
And all I desire.
Mostly I fear that I never will grasp,
This true feeling of satisfaction at last,
As I want to know you and be part of your soul,
Enjoying fullfillment,
And all it’s very sweet parts.
If endless this journey I do really not know,
But only the hope,
Is carrying on my soul.
Protecting this passion,
This lustrous unknown,
The sickening pleasure of the journey,
Building on my soul,

Giving me hope, purpose and goals.

But in the end,

What will I know?

Significance

When I first saw her,
I didn’t know what it was that I thought,
I mere sensed that she was it,
The thing that would make my life so bitter-sweet.
Like a light in the dark her presence shone,
Her smile so gentle and full of pride,
As if this world was something to conquer or to gain,
Although she had so much to blame,
It made her truly sick,
Poisoned by sorrow and pain,
Her world was one in which no one reigned.
She would rest for hours and fall asleep,
Against my chest, as I layed awake,
Breathing gently, breathing deep.
And as I had left my world behind,
The lie which was not reality,
In vain I tried to be still living,
For my sentece long ago had risen.
I was there just to pass by,
To give my best,
At least to try.
Oh, I tried to keep it up,
I hoped for good would happen,
And so it did,
But for what sacrafice?
She had forgotten and denied,
What I was and that I tried.
I heard her suffer and heard her blame,
That once into her life I came.
Bitter-sweet I think now back,
For I felt fullfilled,
I don’t regret.
My goal was not to hurt but just to stand,
I could just not endure it in the end.
But for some time,
I had been a friend,

And oh god knows I still would be,

Were I granted a chance one more time to spend,

A little while next to her,

Talking about everything and nothing,

It would never end.

Revolution

As I stand on top of the hill,
Having the world at my feet,
I think about what might be,
Would I achieve my goals,
And all my dreams.
I clench my fists and tension my body,
Cause I am setting for the run,
Fulfilling my desire.

Nothing is all we need to know

With love to everyone,
I am ready to move on,
Cause there is nothing now which can still keep hold,
Of this mind and it’s thoughts, whatever was told.
I will do my best, from now on till’ the day I’ll have to rest,
I want to find and fulfill my purpose, I want to face this test.
Boundaries are nothing,
They do not exist.
It is all within our souls,
We only have to do our best.

Lucifer

Miserably I am sitting in my room,
No gleam, no nothing, I feel like I'm doomed,
Raised without examples I lived on to strive,
For being acknowledged,
For being alive.
Trust is what I seek,
In the faces of whom I meet,
For beauty lies within the soul,
Not the brute, disgusting body of flesh and white bones,

Drenched with prejudice and resentful beliefs.

Sacrifice

Into the mirror once I looked,
Didn’t see anything special,
Only me, as always, nothing new,
As is stood I started thinking,
I should be crooked and old and stinking,
For my life has not been normal,
Only a devil would still be roaming.
Then I shrugged and kept on going,
Tempting, teasing, thinking, pleasing,
Hardly sticking to my reason,
I went on just to find treason.
Oh, what a life I always think,
For every day seems to bring,
A new breeze, a stronger wind.
Victim to everything I still do fall,
For all this tempting and all the teasing,
Makes me slave to all the feelings,
Provoked, procured and then endured,
I always did and always will,
Give everything I can,
Myself, For ever.
Because to me,
I do not matter,

I never will.

Had some fun recording this - Sinister Sunday

Chasing

My torment is my bride,
My everything, my life,
With seductive charms it leads me in,
Into this realm which right now is no more than a dream,
I wonder and I rearrange,
All the things that I would like to change,
The things that I one day would like to see,
For there is no one which can make me believe,
That this has purpose or that I have reason,
Folly to think that past is life,
Although this is right where I do wither.
I often did consider,
That madness is just a thin line made of air,
I might have crossed it, Maybe it has never been there.
I would only love to know,
Have I really done so much wrong?

Paralel

Petty was a strange little girl,
At least that was the others parole,
They used to talk behind her back,
While she was dancing on a wrack.
She didn’t care wether it was withered and old,
It just was something which was there to be told,
Told to her majestic friend,
The toad she found… on the neighbors land.
Not much she understood of the rules and the lies.
Not very human, but never disguised.
Probably she was nothing like anyone else,
Maybe just innocence in a lifeform itself,
Because this filthy pit, just wasn’t her world,
She wouldn’t despair when to her it was told,
Her world was nice and warm and pretty,
While the others’ was shameless and ruthless and cold,
Something which might just be our own world.

Dassep

With the smile of a madman he walks through his days,
His name is Elvin, he likes to sit by the graves,
It tears him inside and his smile turns to dust,
It is the only time he puts down his mask.
He will praise and he will sing,
Long lost anthems of passed but passionate sin,
For sins they are to him,
Forbidden to speak or touch or obtain,
Because they hold no glory inside of them,
Just another rotten layer of the doomed,
That might be forgotten, If there weren’t these runes,
Now, he’s sitting there, again with his back to a toombdoor, a lair,
Thinking that just one day,
He will be exactly the same,
Motionless and disfigured and dead!
He will be silent then,
But right now, he is keeping on going further ahead,
With poetry and writings,
Which someday’ll be him,
The long lost anthems,
Which are doomed to remain,

For all that will have been within.

The most important thing

I think and I believe,
That there is this most important thing,
It does not begin with life, Nor does it end with death,
It’s like a reason so true it takes your breath,
It’s in you and it’s in me,
It is in everyone who wants to see.
With eyes wide opened,
One shall witness,
That this surrounding thing is growing on,
Ever on and very strong,
It just needs to be found and then,
Be fought for until the end.
For it’s the reason which gives us life,
I am talking about love,
You, darling. My life.

( Picture by Ruxandra Popescu, I love you, darling, thank you. )

Bobul

In aceasta poezie,
Eu voi scrie,
Eu voi scrie despre ce am vazut,
In acel singur bob de naut.
Am vazut ce am vazut,
Dar sincer nu prea mi-a placut.
Nu pot sa spun ca era frumos,
Atat de singur si hidos.
Daca era inca un bob,
poate arata si el ca un glob,
dar asa singur si parasit,
Fara rost, fara nimic,
El era un bob de naut.
Fara creier si fara de facut.
Ai face bine sa creezi,
sa misti, sa gandesti, chiar si sa cedezi.
Mai bine sa cedezi dupace ai facut,
Nu ca un sarac bob de naut.
Un bob ce nu poate face nimic,
lipsit de cap, maini si rinichi.
Nu fii si tu un bob de naut! Pentru ca sigur, gasesti ceva de facut!

Flower

You are lovely just the way that you are,
Just have to dare to be what you are,
In a world which needs the face of truth and right,
You will be the one to bring the shining delight.
Be what you feel and want to be,
As long as it is you which will uncover what is within.
For there are millions drowning in their sins,
Don’t be one of them, I beg you please,
For this world needs,
Just what you do not want to be.

With love and honour and everything which exists,
This is dedicated to you,
Just stay like this.

Laughter laughter,
Where have you been?
Did you read all my deepest sins?
Do you fear to come back again,
Now that I am most delighted by shame?
Have you tried to beckon me,
While I was just giggling within?
But now it’s allright,
I have found you again,
In all the scars that I gained.
I love and I hate,
But to me now,
It is all the same.

Awake

As I lay awake,
Time passes sharply by,
With it’s ripping limbs,
The clock is ticking on and on.
As I twist and turn and seek,
For something in my head to please,
The hunger for anything which will make me sleep.
It seems as if years have passed me by,
In a time so short and slow, but clouded at night.
Maybe it is because I just don’t mind,
The things I’ve done another time,
Maybe it’s because I sleep,
Another day,
Another week.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick…
Have I really fallen that deep?

Simian Squad - Comanche

Vocals: Nini
Drums: Radu
Keyboard: Noamme
Bass: Ismail
Guitar: TImo
Guitar: Daniel, that would be me again... I hope. O_ô

SImian Squad - Bleeding Eyes

A little something from one of the bands I used to play in :P

Vocals: Ismail
Drums: Radu
Rythm guitar: Timo (See other space monkeys)
Lead guitar: Daniel, I guess that would be me.

I hope you enjoy it! ^_^ Cheers to all!

Uroboros

I buried myself within the lies of the wicked,
With smiles and polite words I denied all the sickness,
I fall but still am walking on and further,
My eyes only seeing the pavement move closer,
Spinning and drifting further and away,
Again I hear the world roaring in vain,
Running and screaming and tearing apart,
I’m beginning to shiver and embracing the dark.
Now I am here in shelter with me,
It is quiet and smothering and hot I cannot stand,
I just can’t resist to begin with again.
But now it’s my toomb which will hold me back.
I feel sick, I want to flee, but my limbs won’t react,
Maybe this isn’t the way I should act.
I remembered my sentence when I broke down before,
It was „ He is dead now, choked on his gore“
But why? How could this all be?
I am thinking am I not? Where am I? Am I me?
And then just a second after thinking all this,
I woke up again, I am just a kid.

Process

I want to bow you down,
And then just brake you down,
And I will take your crown,
And you then will drown.
After I broke you down,
And took your crown,
I will accept the theft and be a king,
A king of rotten leafs and rain,
There will be no more and we all shall fade,
Into filthy stench,
The ghosts that we bare,
Cause this is all I release,
Humanity’s guilt and disease.

Once she said

esti un cactus,
oamenii cred ca ai tepi,
si ca o sa i doara daca te ating,
dar de fapt esti un cactus cu interior halucinogen.

You are a cactus,
People think that you have spikes,
And that it will hurt them if they touch you,
But actually you are a cactus with halucinogen interior.

NOTE: ~ I hope you don't mind that I used this, it is not my work, it is just something someone told me.
Means a lot to me. Thanks. ~

Change

Not for you,
Not for me,
Time has passed, Can’t you see?
People change,
Things get strange,
Time forgotten,
Thoughts are rotten,
Once we thought,
We were for each other,
Now we’re apart,
And our paths lead ever further,
From the things that were said.
From time to time,
We turn and look back,
Just to find out,
We have lost the old track.

In Eternity

Even the greatest of us fade,
Vanish but still reside,
In our hearts and in our minds.
We do not tempt to believe they’re gone,
Cause they leave something behind.
It is our duty to remember their lives,
But as bright big lights!
We love and for ever we will think,
Of the People which we care about,
There is absolutely no doubt.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson,
You have done a lot for us! You will be forever in our hearts.

Xineohp

When it all goes down,
And you have lost your crown,
Will you dream and fight?
Or will you go out, like a light?
Like a dream you just fade,
To come back once in a while,
And then again fade,
You are the one that once wore the crown,
The one which was praised and then burned down!
You are the hunted, you are the evil,
The one which once was godsent and then the seed of the devil!
This is what you are, and your time will just come,
When you raise from the ashes,
To do it all again,

The way you once did,

When the time is right,

When it is on demand.

Sleepless

Marching forward, never stop!
Marching forward, till you drop!
Marching forward, going faster!
Marching forward, faster! Faster!
Marching forward, till you drop!
Marching forward, never stop!

"This is your place,
This is the essence of existency,
This is the perspective you are going to have!
This is the purpose you will live for!
This is the ultimate meaning until you die!"

Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – one –
Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – two –
Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – three –
Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – four –
Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – five –
Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – six –
Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – seven –
Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – eight –
Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – nine –
Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! – ten –
…

Go! – faster!
Work! – harder!
Resist! – longer!
Die! – harder!

The very day

I wish for that day,
That craving which won’t go away,
That You and I are standing here,
That moment is not quite near,
Each of us with a glass of red wine.
I would love to see your eyes wide opened and shine,
For I do love you, I’d wish you were fine.
What there is though,
Which makes all this a lie,
Is that you do not exist,
My heart is clenched to a fist.
I want it to happen,
This moment in which,
There is only you and I,

To make true this dream of mine.

Dualismmsilaud

Once in a while,
You just feel the need to cry,
To cry for everything that lasts,
And everything which ever was,
To cry it all out of your soul,
With that gaping black hole,
The one which is inside your body,
When you lost something – it is quite funny,
Because you feel like you miss a part of you.
Sometimes it just enfuriates you,
Then you laugh and think in anger,
That you want it to stop and be no more,
For you are tormented by this sorrow,
This sorrow which makes you fucking sentimental,
Why can’t you just be a bit more gentle?
Why on earth do you care so much?
About all the things in which you trust?
Why would you even spend a second,
To think about whatever happened?
God on earth you must be cursed;
It is your fault and your doing,

Receive the punishment which is given,
Just go already fuck yourself,
You stupid asshole! Can’t you tell?
It is you who is the motherfucker,
This will never change, you know it,
Suffer.

Sometimes

Sometimes it is just wrong,
Wrong to be quiet,
Wrong to be loud,
Wrong to be faithful,
Wrong to be proud,
Sometimes you will just drawn,
Drawn in your passion,
Drawn in your love,
Drawn in your hate,
Drawn in your sex,
There is nothing which will prove you,
But there is something for you to understand.
It is worth it,
It is quiet,
Sometimes you’ll feel it,
Sometimes you just have to be a riot.

The Show

Viciously I crouch,
Onto the tablet made of sins,
I hail, I moan, I greet the screams,
One day, one day, I there will lay,
With a broad wide smile on the center of the stage,
Just looking at the sealing.
For this is the only meaning,
I have gone and hailed and praised and failed,
Now I am to look up to be risen,
For I am upset with this silly reason.
Do you believe in treason?
Do you believe in reason?
Do you believe in dignity?
Isn’t it all obscenity?
I believe that there’s something there,
Which can never decide wether it’s there.

Requiem for this shell

There was a time when I believed,
I believed that it could be,
I only wanted to be.
Now my desire is to end,
But with honour and I tend,
I tend to think about the time that has passed me by,
Tempted to turn around and say goodbye.
My spirits have changed,
Much wiser in the end,
I want them to shatter into pieces,
Because they created all the leashes.
I want all this to fade,
Into ashes and then aid.
I want to redeem for my mistakes,
Then just turn and start again,
Be what I once used to be,
Something which feels and cares,
and wants to be.

Enjoy the ride

I have been there,
I have gone away,
I have left you,
I have torn the way,
When you smacked the snail,
Out of its silver shell,
Into your shivering veins,
I turned into prey,
The prey had to pray,
As it turned away,
I had seen it through my eyes,
In the assasins disguise.
I have lost my own world,
Into the soul of this beast,
From unconciousness to gust,
I am filled with lust.
Right and then wrong, weak and then strong, slow and then fast,
When you catch it,
You know it will last.
Be right there with me,
When it will pass.
As this one gift to the gods,
Sacrifice for my lust.

Born to madness

Like a falling star,

You come down from your sky,
With this feeling of hate,
Rage and disgust.
And your mind sickly bleeds,
With the thrust of your soul,
Which fights to escape,
But bound to the bone,
It remains enclaved.
You have just died,
It cannot be denied,
You can never be as before,
Someone, trying to ignore,
Born again and ready to fight.
Full of mystery and anger,
But with perverted delight.
Striving towards fullfillness,
Full of madness and wit.
You crave, you resist, you desire, you exist.
You savage, you kill, you eat, you thrill.
You try to forget. Trying not to regret.
Your future you think,
Is there, next to your goal.
But it’s who you are, which you are trying to ignore.

Of the flesh

When I think of you,
I think: "I want to savage you",
I want to be aware,
I just will have to dare.
When I will ask you my friend,
What will you think in the end?
Will you have a glass of wine?
And then be absolutely mine?
Will there be lust and greed?
Or just plain hate and grief?
What will you do with all that lust?
That lust of flesh and of consumption?
This is not the way you are used to function.
You turn and scream and shout,
You realize you are making primal sounds.
Will you ever be called human?
Or just an ape, one step higher in evolution?

The Land of the beast

When does it happen,
That everything’s lost,
As if there was nothing,
But a giant hoast.
Why did it happen,
That history's got lost,
Rotting in the pits of a tratorous beast.
A beast which controls and does not obey,
Does nothing to help,
Encourages human decay.
With its jaws and its claws it keeps up the fear,
It keeps them believe the harsh bellowed words,
Of life and it’s loss
Within the pride is obscurized.
The whole treasure though,
Absolutely denied.
With the years passing by,
The memory fades,
I am asking where is the saviour,
To rescue the slaves?

Monstrous love

I was wondering,
Where did you go?
That winter night when it was all cold?
In the forest, underneath the leaves you left me behind,
In the dark glowing fluid,
The secret of life.
Where did you go after you danced on my skin?,
With your nails tearing and ripping within.
Why did you leave me all messed up behind?
I loved you so much,
But you did not care,
Only anger, grief and superstition was there.
Now I am falling asleep,
In this cold night,
With tears in my eyes.

Euphoria

Well let me tell you a secret,
It is about the life and what’s in it!
It is the state of mind called euphoria!
It is like a chill, has more impact than pneumonia!
We all should take advantage of it,
For it is a gift!
You shall take care and you shall notice,
The way of your mind and the things that you practice.
Love, fear, existence and despair!
All of them are connected in a lair.
We shouldn’t backup, we all should dare!
Dare to live, speak, shout, love,
For it is what we get,
A life, no more, it is a fact!

No future?

What if one day you turned to dust?
All your memories would be lost?
Can you think of that event?
Without craving for revenge?
Raging against the force much stronger than you,
Controls everything which is surrounding you,
The secret kept with pride,
By time and loss and vanished life.
Adopted by the thieves and beggars and priests,
As god it exists.
The faithful dream and pray and hope and die,
They fade away,
Just like some time,
We all will have to die.
Or did I just lie?

From time to time.

Well it happens once in a while,
I tell you that you fail,
So you crack the stupid shell,
Then it happens that you think,
And someone says that I do stink,
But this is all too clear,
Cause it is you and me,
And everything that is near.
I hope you do understand,
That this is the land,
The land of epic fail,
And I will tell you now,
That you just don’t know how,
But then I just might think,
Am I the one who stinks?
Is it really that clear,
Or is there something else near?
Did I epic fail or was it you,
The one with the tale.
Incoherent I talk,
Because sense I can’t grasp.
This is ridiculous,
So I will quit this imbecility,
In a way quite meticulously.
Cheers!

Decision

I’m a tramp, I cruise the land and the seas and the thoughts and disease. I do think about my life as the beginning of a knife. I do not know where to go, but I do know for sure, where I go I leave a mark for it is my decision I took the day I was born. Often I dream about the past and I try to deem, but I can’t quite grasp, this feeling it forever will last. I might even tell: “ I do not pretend, this past I demand and I require the truth but there is nothing which will give me proof, you are nothing to me, neither your thoughts. Morality is the issue, which is eating my tissue. I couldn’t yet grasp, did never deny, I hope I’m not living a lie. Now I see you, as the last piece of clue.” I did wrong and I did right, I took decisions with the insight, but I never got told though, the reason unknown, why I am supposed to get it on my own.

The Joker

[play the song from the video below and read]


~.The Joker.~

Once upon a time, in a land quite familiar, there lived a boy, a boy who grew up with jokes and a brilliant laugh. When he was tall, his jokes weren’t small, they would crack the hardest shell, even of oysters with the most horrible smell. The only difference was, now he would wear a mask. It would cover his face, the wrinkles which made him remember decay. What hell of a fun he’d have, with the bellowing crowd, to stand on the scene and watch all the fat bankers and their braindamaged wives… But once he turned around, the curtain striving his sleeves whilst he got off the stage, his face would turn red and frighteningly mad. In the wagons he would quietly sit, with a wide opened mouth, where no laughter came out. The mask would tingle down his shoulder strapped to his neck and you could see the two faces from awfully happy to absolutely mad. He would start twitching and turning and frighten the kids. From time to time he‘d tell that voices inside of his head would be talking quite rad, but this only happened when he was in bed. One day, on the stage with the lights at his head, he judgingly grinned, he called the crowd pigs and shallow and dim. He turned quite affected, took a little gun and ended quite sudden, this last joke of his, including a man and a bullet and a very loud drum.

Fascinated

I am fascinated, fascinated by the human nature. The way we talk, move, try to keep ourselves calm, panic, cry, laugh, moan and scream.
The way we take care of every movement we make, the way smokers push out the beautyfully curling and dancing slow death out of their lungs. Funny how it seems to get life when we exhale but when we inhale, it actually takes life... Give and take. This is exactly what it is. It gives you comfort and beauty, you on the other hand give it the power to live it out.
I am fascinated by the decorations which we put into our rooms or on our walls. Funny that we need such things.. basically they are just nice to look at. No one really needs them.
Then again? what do we actually need? I say nothing. So why don't just enjoy the ride and watch and breathe and exist and live and love every single feeling we have? Why not even love agony, rage and the empty feeling in your stomache when something bad happens?
Embrace what you have.

vis à vis

If I was the one to be at your side,
I was praying night for night for thy to give me a sign,
Not an answer did I get,
not that I didn’t expect,
An answer not to get,
therefore I had never loved enough,
The idea of fate, in my dreams-I was a rough.
Now here I am, overwhelmed by thy powers I didn’t and still don’t expect,
I don’t know what to do - with this border I am through,
But still I expect…An answer I won’t get

Shoot

BLAM!Here we are, knocking ourselves down!

BLAM!Here we sit, believing everything we are told!

BLAM! Here we sleep, while people die!

BLAM!Here we live, in a screaming world!

BLAM! We close our eyes, turn away and pass by.

BLAM!...BLAM!...BLAM!...CLICK!

Is it too late to try?...

Reload, aim, schoot! D[EN]IE!